Fated
by drunkdragon
Summary: Employment. Colors. Music. A little something in between. In almost everything, Chrom finds himself opposite of Robin.


_**Fated**_

The battle hardly went according to plan, but Chrom couldn't blame Robin. No one had ever fought on the back of a dragon before, and even then it was a miracle that they had won. But Robin had been incapacitated towards the end of the fight, and Chrom was forced to make the decision for him.

His friend was in absolute dismay over it. Try as he might, nothing seemed to pull the tactician from the thought. "There was no other choice, Robin. I did what I had to do."

"I know, Chrom, and I can't blame you for that. Who knew if Grima would regain its strength while I struggled to rise?"

"Then will you stop trying to blame yourself for something I did?"

"I know that I have no reason to be mad. I get to live with my wife and children, and Grima has been defeated for now. I have every reason to be happy." He heard him sigh for the umpteenth time. "I just can't believe that we had the perfect chance to destroy Grima for good and we blew it."

Casting a forlorn look at his friend, Chrom couldn't help but realize that Robin, with his lack of sleep over the subject, seemed gaunt and almost unfamiliar with his lack of optimism. It was as if he was no longer the man he once knew.

He prayed that his friend would come back to his senses soon. Ever since he landed that blow, he felt as if Robin would forever be diametrically opposed to him.

Forever was a long, long time.

* * *

"Chrom, do you know why you're in my office?"

The man bit his lip. He had a feeling, but was suddenly afraid to say it as Robin stared at him from the opposite side of his desk. "Is it concerning my year-end review?"

"Unfortunately, it is," his friend reclined back in his chair, obviously uncomfortable with how slow he was with his words. "I'm laying you off."

The nervousness in Chrom's voice was new to both of them. "Robin, tell me you're joking."

His boss drew a breath. "I'm not. The other option was to find a fault and fire you."

"Please, Robin," he begged, "Sumia is pregnant and can't work right now. No one is going to hire a pregnant woman in her third trimester and you know that. And then when she gives birth, how am I going to pay the bill without the medical coverage?"

His friend sighed. "If this wasn't a business, Chrom, if this was anything else but a business, I would keep you. But numbers are numbers. You had to take a lot of time off to help Lucina since she broke her arm, but you also haven't been performing well. I know you're not usually like this, but upper management is watching. At least this way you get the severance package."

Robin looked away and sighed again. "I have to let you go, Chrom. I'm sorry. Use me as a reference. I'll help you as much as I can. And if an opening comes up, I'll be the first to let you know."

* * *

"Now that we've finished our baby girl's room, I think all that's left is what color to paint the hallways."

"I was thinking of a light blue. Maybe powder blue or something."

"Dear, it's always some kind of blue with you."

"Should I remind you of all the purple you have in your wardrobe, Robin?"

"Chrom, I know you like it when I wear purple."

"Yes, I like it when you wear purple, but all the china is purple, the rugs are purple, the curtains are purple, even the doorknob to your closet is purple. It's like you only have one color."

"Did you ever notice that every time I ask you for a color suggestion, you say blue about sixty percent of the time?"

"And the only reason about half of the things in this house are purple is because you keep winning the coin flips, honey."

"Oh, you just have bad luck. I mean, you know this is a normal quarter."

"I know. It's just hard for me to believe that I would lose each and every time"

"Did you want to see the coin again?"

"No. But for just this one time, can we pick blue without flipping for it?"

* * *

"Are you ready Sumia?"

"More than ever, Chrom." Her fingers firmly held the mic in her hands.

Across the stage was another band. He knew them, kind of. Well, really only the guitarist, Robin, and of his raw talent with Grima, the pet name of his guitar. Other than that, he only knew of their name, Grim Zeal, and their vocalist Tharja.

Scanning the crowd, he noticed that the redhead was there again. She always had front-row seats, and was the most rambunctious of his fans. Turning to the side, he grabbed a bundled up t-shirt and threw it to her. She unfurled it and went ecstatic. Frederick, his campaign agent, decided to create t-shirts of him naked while holding a scale and Falchion, his guitar, amidst a background of lightning form thunderclouds.

So hardcore. That man knew his stuff.

"The time has come!" a might voice boomed from the speakers. The crowd began to grow wild, cheers and yells rumbling through them. "We stand before The Exalted and Grim Zeal, the two most epic bands on earth!"

"And today, they will shred on Falchion and Grima in hardcore battle to determine once and for all who is number one!"

The drummer, who would be keeping the rhythm for both teams, began to smash away. Raising his guitar pick, he strummed the opening chords on Falchion. Robin had done the same with Grima, but he pushed opponent's playing out of his mind.

Maybe in another day, another time, another place, they could have been good friends.

But right now, it was time to prove that he was the best guitarist in the world and melt Robin's face off.

It was time to play the most

_Metal._

_Song._

**_Ever._**

* * *

"For Ylisse, Chrom?"

"No... for me."

* * *

"Chrom, save me."

"…"

"Please do something, Chrom."

"…"

"Chrom, please, I need you to-"

KAH-SHING! Kah-Shing. Kah-

"OH. MY. GOD." Robin let the 3DS fall from her hands. "I don't understand you! First you miss at ninety-three percent, and now you won't dual guard at seven? Are you lacking half of a brain here on lunatic mode? Is that why this is so hard for you?"

Her hands went up in frustration. "I mean, all you do is insult me and say I'm unladylike, and now you won't even protect your 'friend'? Why did I even join your stupid Shepherd crap in the first place?"

Picking up the handheld, she stared pointedly at the pixelated man. "You're a terrible man, Chrom! You won't dual guard, you can't make me your waifu yet, what are you even good for?"

A voice came from downstairs. "Robin, honey, is everything okay?"

"Ugh." She drew an exasperated breath. "I'm fine, dad!"

Holding down the shoulder buttons, she pressed start and the game reset.

"We are starting over on hard, Chrom, and I'm totally marrying you to that useless village girl. Ricken is _way_ hotter anyway."

* * *

A/N: The last one might as well be based off of a true story. I would also like to apologize to any metal fans if I have butchered your culture. But in general, this fic was all about how many interesting and silly ways Robin and Chrom could square off against each other. I wanted to go for a diverse collection, and I'm generally pleased with what's here.

But alas, thus ends my contribution for April Fools. I wonder if anyone can find the small secret I have stashed away in between the three. It's pretty obvious, so I won't be surprised if someone finds it really quickly.

Originally, this fic was going to be a standalone oneshot, but then with this particular day rolling around, I figured I would try to do a little more with it. Shortly after, the other two ideas dug their way into my mind and I figured I should just go on and play with it. I was thinking about releasing a more serious fic too, but I have quite a bit on my plate already with _Three is Company_ and _Letters for Cordy_. It's particular story was also something that I would like to put waaay more thought into and most likely have as an extra long oneshot.

I also was originally going to say Gangrel was way hotter, but figured Ricken would be a better choice.

Anyway, if you can spot the little secret, let me know. Again, it's probably fairly obvious, but have fun looking, just in case.

I also noticed that in all three of my fics, at one point they all entertained the more lemony side of things. _The Talk_ was kind of all about it, but _Worthless_ may have had Owain and Severa getting naughty in the supply tent and _Fated_ for a while had Chrom entertaining dirty thoughts about a threesome on stage with Sumia and groupieCordelia (though this was when they were a death metal band instead of just metal). This probably means that I will write some kind of lemon in the future because it seems to pervade my writing thoughts, and I have a whole bunch of premises in my stories that I can pull from now as well. I guess it's a matter of what sounds fun to write next.

Or a vote in my profile. I've set up a poll, hopefully with funny names for the choices (Pedophilic Dragon Sex is funny, right? Right?), so go ahead and vote to see which one tickles your fancy the most. That or leave a review or PM me indicating what you would like to see. Options available are any of the pairings I have written or particularly featured, but you are free to suggest one of your own. It's less likely to occur, but you never know. The only exception is probably anything featuring Lucina in the context of_ Three is Company_, as I don't want to be giving out any potential spoilers.

Now that doesn't mean that the winning choice will get made. It really depends on if I can even figure out what to write about in the first place. I mean, I might give myself a premise and a direction, but that doesn't write itself, so to speak. Hell, I may even ignore my original premise and just keep the characters. So as much as I hate to say your vote may not matter in the end, but that might be the case if creativity just doesn't flow for that one choice but floods another. I don't expect this to happen, though, so you should be safe one way or another. So to help make it a bit easier for everyone and myself to be happy, you can pick your four favorite options on the poll.

Also, did anyone else read the part about good-for-nothing Chrom with Hiimdaisy in mind? Because that was what I was kind of paying homage to.

And as usual, I do not own Fire Emblem.

I appreciate all comments and criticisms.


End file.
